I was about to let another lazy night go by where I just fell asleep to a movie without blogging, but it's been a week and I think June 2008 has been a month worthy enough to squeeze another post out of me as its final hours dwindle away.
I have successfully convinced (I think) most of the children at my park of two absurdities. One is that my mother is a gorilla (yes, an actual gorilla), and the other is that I own 89 pet chickens (one of which is named Chelsea). They honestly and truly believe this, unless they are really good pretenders. They keep asking me detailed questions about Chelsea and often have me translate English phrases into Gorilla for them.
After reading the above paragraph to myself, and realizing how proud I am to have tricked small children into believing such stupid things, I think it is official. I am a loser.
Anyway, this weekend was an adventure. First I saw Wall-E with my sibs (amazing). Then on Sunday I went with my sis Steph and my beloved Vogutta to the Twin Cities Pride parade and festival. Now, you must know that I am the biggest cynic of such parades and festivals. I believed I belong at a gay pride festival as much as I belong at a Juggling Skills Pride Festival, which is NOT AT ALL a place I would ever be invited to. My theory is that they should have a "College GPA" pride, because I would be ALL over that bitch! At least I had to study and work for that..... there was no "gay audition," although sometimes I fear if I don't pop in my showtunes or gel my hair at least once a week that my license will be revoked.
Anyway, regardless of my pre-pride skepticism, I had a rather enjoyable time. It was nice to be in a place where my scathing remarks and bitchiness were not only unwanted, they were completely unnecessary. Of course, this made me a little uncomfortable at first because everyone was so genuinely comfortable and happy that I had no targets, but after I got used to it and joined all the gayness, it was a really really great day. Things like that kind of change my perspective on life..... suddenly I realize this world isn't just about me and my selfish insecurities.... it's nice to have a bitch-slap to the face of reality sometimes.
I love Christie Vogt. We were scoping out our future top-floor condos as we roamed the city. We found a few very nice-looking terraces, and I for one cannot wait for a few years to pass so we can be committed to each other and fill our fancy apartment with asian babies (which we will return to their owners at the end of the day because everyone knows babies are too much responsibility).
If you ever want to be really uncomfortable, call in your local radio and tell them to play "I Kissed a Girl" while you are in the car with your dad.
I bought a bus ticket to Chicago last week. I am going July 18th with Kelsey Jor-Jor and I am ridiculously excited to get a way, even if it's just for a few days. Time is flying by until this stupid summer job thing is over, I turn 21 and school begins again!!!!!!! Cannot wait!!!
P.S. E-Harp, I got August Osage County in the mail today and am already hooked. Thanks for the rec.
I wrote the P.S. before the signature even happened,
Matty B.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
I Forgot Something
I realize I just posted, but I have something more to say, and I figure instead of updating the other post, it is much more fun and glamorous to write an entirely new one.
Can someone please tell me when the word 'funna' replace the word 'gonna'? I went to the library yesterday, for a few reasons. The first was to see if I even had an account there still, because I haven't been there since I was maybe 10 years old. The second was to see if I owed them money, because on my last visit (when I was 10) I checked out about 7 Goosebumps books and kept them...... forever. I peeled off the library stickers and whited out the library stamps and wrote my names on all of them, thinking that would make them exclusive to my ownership. For about two years, the library sent endless mail to my house to try and get me to either return them or pay for them, but I just ripped up the letters and chose to remain in denial of my books' true origins.
Anyway, the library lady looked up my name, and I did have an account, but by some miracle I owed them ZERO dollars!!!! Anyway, when she brought up my account she said "ooooh, it was funna be deleted!!!" After having her repeat herself 3 times, I finally realized the context in which she was using that word. I have yet to decide how I feel about it. A part of me despises it, but a part of me really wants to use it (in fact, I admit that I did say 'funna' at least twice last night).
That's my story.
Bye.
Matty B.
P.S.
COMMENT ON MY POSTS!
P.P.S.
The influx of readership on my blog is making me a little nervous. I feel kind of pressured to be the next John Grisham or Diablo Cody or R.L. Stine.
Can someone please tell me when the word 'funna' replace the word 'gonna'? I went to the library yesterday, for a few reasons. The first was to see if I even had an account there still, because I haven't been there since I was maybe 10 years old. The second was to see if I owed them money, because on my last visit (when I was 10) I checked out about 7 Goosebumps books and kept them...... forever. I peeled off the library stickers and whited out the library stamps and wrote my names on all of them, thinking that would make them exclusive to my ownership. For about two years, the library sent endless mail to my house to try and get me to either return them or pay for them, but I just ripped up the letters and chose to remain in denial of my books' true origins.
Anyway, the library lady looked up my name, and I did have an account, but by some miracle I owed them ZERO dollars!!!! Anyway, when she brought up my account she said "ooooh, it was funna be deleted!!!" After having her repeat herself 3 times, I finally realized the context in which she was using that word. I have yet to decide how I feel about it. A part of me despises it, but a part of me really wants to use it (in fact, I admit that I did say 'funna' at least twice last night).
That's my story.
Bye.
Matty B.
P.S.
COMMENT ON MY POSTS!
P.P.S.
The influx of readership on my blog is making me a little nervous. I feel kind of pressured to be the next John Grisham or Diablo Cody or R.L. Stine.
When the Sun Goes Down
My parents are out of town. In other words, I am in a fabulous mood. I took off work for the evening, and I am currently lounging on the sofa with Mallorie awaiting the premiere of Camp Rock, which is the new Disney Channel movie starring the Jonas Brothers. It's kind of a BFD.
Anyway, I realize it has been eons since my last entry, so allow me to recap the antics of my life. When we last left off, our hero and his two faithful friends (James and Stacey) ventured to Duluth for a party entitled "One Night at the Speakeasy." We put on our finest '20's garb (suspenders from ragstock and a faux-old-timey hat, and made the two hour trek to see some old friends of mine. It was a blast!!!
The next day, we went to the Minneapolis Mosaic multi-cultural festival, which consisted of hula dancing, intense booty dancing, step dancing, flamenco dancing, and some other kinds of dancing. It was all good fun except there was this one mildy retarded person in tie-dye who seemed to think they could just join the public performances and dance along with all of the people who had practiced so hard for all of us. She was SUCH an inconsiderate bitch.
Besides that weekend, I have done pretty much nothing fun. I am two weeks into my summer job, working with kids every day. I love chitrins.... but here's the thing: There are 26 of them, and just one other girl and me watching them. How do you like those odds? It is simply not fair. I basically work day to day trying to make sure all the kids stay alive.
Now it's time for a crazy mother story (no, not MY crazy mother, although her craziness hasn't slowed down in weeks of late). There is a mom at our park who has 2 children that attend. The other day she asked us to specifically monitor the drinking habits of her kids because they came home EXTREMELY dehydrated the day before (which basically to them was my fault). So I made the girls drink some wa-wa, and then the bitch calls the city and complains that I was "segregating" her kids when I made THEM drink water and nobody else!!!
If you are out there, lady..... suck it. Segregation is SO '60's, and does DEFINITELY not apply to this situation. If you want your kids hydrated, hook them up to an IV, don't complain to me.
Uh oh, we were just introduced to the "diva" of Camp Rock. This is going to be D to the Rama.
Anyway, too much storytelling in this entry.
Basically, I miss college. Not necessarily Stevens Point, and not necessarily the humans that inhabit central Wisconsin (although I do miss many), but just college in general. When I was young and gay and watching Grease, Danny and Sandy taught me that Summer was supposed to be an escape where you could just roll on the beach and make out under the dock. Where the fuck is my make-out dock partner? No summer lovin' for me? Grease can suck it too.
I have a theory that the Jonas brothers are not, in fact, brothers at all. Let's investigate, shall we?
I will probably update this again really soon because there are a lot of delectible details from my life that I have left out, so stay tuned, folks!
Disney Channel needs to stop producing badly-singing sluts,
Matty B.
Anyway, I realize it has been eons since my last entry, so allow me to recap the antics of my life. When we last left off, our hero and his two faithful friends (James and Stacey) ventured to Duluth for a party entitled "One Night at the Speakeasy." We put on our finest '20's garb (suspenders from ragstock and a faux-old-timey hat, and made the two hour trek to see some old friends of mine. It was a blast!!!
The next day, we went to the Minneapolis Mosaic multi-cultural festival, which consisted of hula dancing, intense booty dancing, step dancing, flamenco dancing, and some other kinds of dancing. It was all good fun except there was this one mildy retarded person in tie-dye who seemed to think they could just join the public performances and dance along with all of the people who had practiced so hard for all of us. She was SUCH an inconsiderate bitch.
Besides that weekend, I have done pretty much nothing fun. I am two weeks into my summer job, working with kids every day. I love chitrins.... but here's the thing: There are 26 of them, and just one other girl and me watching them. How do you like those odds? It is simply not fair. I basically work day to day trying to make sure all the kids stay alive.
Now it's time for a crazy mother story (no, not MY crazy mother, although her craziness hasn't slowed down in weeks of late). There is a mom at our park who has 2 children that attend. The other day she asked us to specifically monitor the drinking habits of her kids because they came home EXTREMELY dehydrated the day before (which basically to them was my fault). So I made the girls drink some wa-wa, and then the bitch calls the city and complains that I was "segregating" her kids when I made THEM drink water and nobody else!!!
If you are out there, lady..... suck it. Segregation is SO '60's, and does DEFINITELY not apply to this situation. If you want your kids hydrated, hook them up to an IV, don't complain to me.
Uh oh, we were just introduced to the "diva" of Camp Rock. This is going to be D to the Rama.
Anyway, too much storytelling in this entry.
Basically, I miss college. Not necessarily Stevens Point, and not necessarily the humans that inhabit central Wisconsin (although I do miss many), but just college in general. When I was young and gay and watching Grease, Danny and Sandy taught me that Summer was supposed to be an escape where you could just roll on the beach and make out under the dock. Where the fuck is my make-out dock partner? No summer lovin' for me? Grease can suck it too.
I have a theory that the Jonas brothers are not, in fact, brothers at all. Let's investigate, shall we?
I will probably update this again really soon because there are a lot of delectible details from my life that I have left out, so stay tuned, folks!
Disney Channel needs to stop producing badly-singing sluts,
Matty B.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
I don't drink hot liquids of any kind.... that's the Devil's temperature.
Hi Blog world. I have so much to update about!
First of all, WELCOME to my new readers!!!! I have been slutting myself up and down the world trying to get people to read this and it just may have paid off. Also, feel free to comment at any moment!!!!
Now what's new in my life?
Well,
Yesterday I took my drug test for the city of Cottage Grove. I start with the kids on Monday, so I had to go in and piss in a cup first to make sure I wasn't gonna be smoking pot around and/or with the kids (which, let's be honest I am the kids' ONLY connection to the good shit). Anyway, I hate drug tests. Not out of fear of testing positive, but because it is overall just a humiliating and dehumanizing experience. First, you have some bitch ask you in front of EVERYONE whether or not you need water or if you are ready to pee now. Thanks, by the way, I am four years old and need you to hold the cup to make sure I can aim correctly! Secondly, she is SO impersonal about it! She prepared the cup while talking on the phone with some other bitch (medical clinic gossip) and then brought me to the bathroom, told me to pee then open the door so I could wash my hands. She had to give me special soap to wash my hands with. I really don't get it.
Anyway, I peed up to the line and they didn't even use all the pee. She just poured like half of it into a vile and then made me initial the vile. It was gross. THEN I left, and I really have been wondering all day and night what she did with the rest of my urine. I want it back, bitch.
Okay, next order of business. It's official!!!! I am CPR-Certified! I learned yesterday how to breathe life into a dummy and pump the fuck out of a heart if need be. Although I am pretty certain if anyone was really dying around me, I would pretend I wasn't certified because it all just seems to stressful for me.
In other news, I watched The Exorcist last night with Mallorie. I guess I didn't realize that showing that movie to my 12-year-old sister was a bad idea, but she did pretty well. She really stuck it out and only gasped a little bit when the demon child jabbed a crucifix into her hoo-ha. It was all good family fun. I had to explain to Mal that every good human experiences Exorcist trauma when they are young, and I denied her request to sleep in my room with me that night because she was going to have nightmares.
This weekend I am attending a party in Duluth with Mr. James Hansen and Ms. Stacy Fuelle. It is 1920's themed, and I am strongly considering showing up in blackface (in honor of Obama's nomination, of course). Would that be too offensive or appropriate to the theme? Let me know.
Oh one more thing. I was talking to Barack last night ( you know, Obama), and he told me that he wants to be President only so that he can legalize gay marriage and ask for my hand. That's how in love we are.
Wrap it up,
Matty B.
First of all, WELCOME to my new readers!!!! I have been slutting myself up and down the world trying to get people to read this and it just may have paid off. Also, feel free to comment at any moment!!!!
Now what's new in my life?
Well,
Yesterday I took my drug test for the city of Cottage Grove. I start with the kids on Monday, so I had to go in and piss in a cup first to make sure I wasn't gonna be smoking pot around and/or with the kids (which, let's be honest I am the kids' ONLY connection to the good shit). Anyway, I hate drug tests. Not out of fear of testing positive, but because it is overall just a humiliating and dehumanizing experience. First, you have some bitch ask you in front of EVERYONE whether or not you need water or if you are ready to pee now. Thanks, by the way, I am four years old and need you to hold the cup to make sure I can aim correctly! Secondly, she is SO impersonal about it! She prepared the cup while talking on the phone with some other bitch (medical clinic gossip) and then brought me to the bathroom, told me to pee then open the door so I could wash my hands. She had to give me special soap to wash my hands with. I really don't get it.
Anyway, I peed up to the line and they didn't even use all the pee. She just poured like half of it into a vile and then made me initial the vile. It was gross. THEN I left, and I really have been wondering all day and night what she did with the rest of my urine. I want it back, bitch.
Okay, next order of business. It's official!!!! I am CPR-Certified! I learned yesterday how to breathe life into a dummy and pump the fuck out of a heart if need be. Although I am pretty certain if anyone was really dying around me, I would pretend I wasn't certified because it all just seems to stressful for me.
In other news, I watched The Exorcist last night with Mallorie. I guess I didn't realize that showing that movie to my 12-year-old sister was a bad idea, but she did pretty well. She really stuck it out and only gasped a little bit when the demon child jabbed a crucifix into her hoo-ha. It was all good family fun. I had to explain to Mal that every good human experiences Exorcist trauma when they are young, and I denied her request to sleep in my room with me that night because she was going to have nightmares.
This weekend I am attending a party in Duluth with Mr. James Hansen and Ms. Stacy Fuelle. It is 1920's themed, and I am strongly considering showing up in blackface (in honor of Obama's nomination, of course). Would that be too offensive or appropriate to the theme? Let me know.
Oh one more thing. I was talking to Barack last night ( you know, Obama), and he told me that he wants to be President only so that he can legalize gay marriage and ask for my hand. That's how in love we are.
Wrap it up,
Matty B.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
DOUBLE FORTCH
Okay, so some bad news, and then some good news.
The bad news:
So I got home from a grueling night at work (it was packed due to the apocalyptic tornado weather outside. Apparently there are many people who like to watch movies during tornadoes). I was very tired and naturally parched, so I went in the fridge to get myself a tall glass of cold milk (my fave beverage, as many of you are likely to know). I open the fridge and see leftover Chinese food boxes. A part of my soul died because there was like a tiny bit of rice left, meaning I missed CHINESE FOOD. I love Chinese food. If I wasn't afraid of my mom's wrath I would have half a mind to storm into her bedroom, ruin her slumber and inflict on her just a tiny bit of the pain I felt when my eyes landed on the ruins of what was surely a delicious Asian feast.
Anyway, after that drama, I got my glass of milk and found a fortune cookie. And here comes the good news my friend. Inside the fortune cookie, which I devoured instantly hoping the fortune would tell me I have my own personal FRESH chinese dinner waiting for me in the near future (you MUST eat the entire cookie before reading the fortune btw), was not one, but TWO fortunes. That's right, two entirely separate pieces of paper with two entirely different fortunes. I yelped with glee!!!!! I love fortunes! Okay, let's read them!!!
Fortune number one: "You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth."
YAY!!! Just what I've always wanted out of life!!!! So when all you sons-of-bitches are suffering under low wages and high gas prices, I will surely buy a few more material things in honor of your miserable lives. When I have 8 cars and a mansion, and my own person Chinese restaurant, my family will NOT be allowed to eat it. In fact I will leave ONLY Chinese leftovers in their fridge just to spite them.
Fortune number two: "You will never need to worry about a steady income."
WOWZA!!!! I am going to win the lottery soon. I think that these two fortunes pretty much make it official. Unless I will never have to worry about a steady income because I will only have an UNSTEADY income..... hm, tricky tricky Chinese fortune-writers.
By the way, who DOES write fortunes? Is that a job? Is it a journalism major, or an authentic Chinese sage? I would like to take a crack at it.
Anyway, those two fortunes have made my evening infinitely better. Especially when examining my current financial situation, I truly hope one or both of these fortunes comes true very very very soon.
Things I loved today: Seeing Mitch and Francine. I love reuniting with old friends!!!
It's late and I am exhausted from dealing with bitchy movie-watchers.
Goodnight all, and may you all be poorer than me,
Matty B.
The bad news:
So I got home from a grueling night at work (it was packed due to the apocalyptic tornado weather outside. Apparently there are many people who like to watch movies during tornadoes). I was very tired and naturally parched, so I went in the fridge to get myself a tall glass of cold milk (my fave beverage, as many of you are likely to know). I open the fridge and see leftover Chinese food boxes. A part of my soul died because there was like a tiny bit of rice left, meaning I missed CHINESE FOOD. I love Chinese food. If I wasn't afraid of my mom's wrath I would have half a mind to storm into her bedroom, ruin her slumber and inflict on her just a tiny bit of the pain I felt when my eyes landed on the ruins of what was surely a delicious Asian feast.
Anyway, after that drama, I got my glass of milk and found a fortune cookie. And here comes the good news my friend. Inside the fortune cookie, which I devoured instantly hoping the fortune would tell me I have my own personal FRESH chinese dinner waiting for me in the near future (you MUST eat the entire cookie before reading the fortune btw), was not one, but TWO fortunes. That's right, two entirely separate pieces of paper with two entirely different fortunes. I yelped with glee!!!!! I love fortunes! Okay, let's read them!!!
Fortune number one: "You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth."
YAY!!! Just what I've always wanted out of life!!!! So when all you sons-of-bitches are suffering under low wages and high gas prices, I will surely buy a few more material things in honor of your miserable lives. When I have 8 cars and a mansion, and my own person Chinese restaurant, my family will NOT be allowed to eat it. In fact I will leave ONLY Chinese leftovers in their fridge just to spite them.
Fortune number two: "You will never need to worry about a steady income."
WOWZA!!!! I am going to win the lottery soon. I think that these two fortunes pretty much make it official. Unless I will never have to worry about a steady income because I will only have an UNSTEADY income..... hm, tricky tricky Chinese fortune-writers.
By the way, who DOES write fortunes? Is that a job? Is it a journalism major, or an authentic Chinese sage? I would like to take a crack at it.
Anyway, those two fortunes have made my evening infinitely better. Especially when examining my current financial situation, I truly hope one or both of these fortunes comes true very very very soon.
Things I loved today: Seeing Mitch and Francine. I love reuniting with old friends!!!
It's late and I am exhausted from dealing with bitchy movie-watchers.
Goodnight all, and may you all be poorer than me,
Matty B.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Look at the Fireworks...
Newest obsession: In the Heights cast recording, which I obtained illegally.
I am looking for some new readers. I realized lately that this is mainly a secret blog with no real fan-base, and I think it's time for a large switcheroo, so I am going to start shamelessly plugging this (as I did to Mar-Holz) so that my brilliant words begin to gain a cult following. It will happen. Just you watch, cynics.
So this has quite possibly been the laziest week of my life. I haven't worked since Sunday, which means four entire days off in a row. I have slept until at least noon each day, eaten a few frozen pizzas, and watched some fine cinema, including Dreamgirls (which for some reason seams to ALWAYS be on the HBO Black channel.... apparently there really aren't that many black-themed movies. It probably always switches between Dreamgirls and The Color Purple). Anyway, each day my mom leaves me a note of chores to do around the house, and you best BELIEVE that I had Effie White blasting while I was vaccuming, and I have a kickass rendition of "And I'm telling you..." to add to my repertoire.
Let's all take a moment of silence for the recent deaths of Sydney Pollack and Harvey Korman....
Okay, we can be loud again.
Anyway, on to more important things, let's talk about my teeth. I think I may or may not have no less than 20 cavities, because my teeth hurt like a MOTHER.
Next on the agenda......
I have to take a drug test on Monday for my summer job. Which makes no sense to me at all..... because I found out I had to take this drug test like maybe 3 months ago so i purposely abstained from any substance abuse. Once Monday is over, I could easily get hooked on the Mary-J just to spite the City of Cottage Grove. I just don't see what a drug test prevents, really.
Also, as of Tuesday night, I will be CPR certified, so if any of you chokes at dinner or anything, I will TOTES be there for you suckin' on your face, like a true friend would. I've always wanted to be certified, I plan on showing my card to everyone I see. I might even just give it to people who need to see my driver's license and be like "oops, that's not my license..... but I AM CPR certified, you know...."
Best two things about being home: Free food, and Free beer. Free is always capitalized, by the way.
This is long enough for my tired eyes. Good night.
Love you all unless your name is Jessica Alba,
Matty B.
I am looking for some new readers. I realized lately that this is mainly a secret blog with no real fan-base, and I think it's time for a large switcheroo, so I am going to start shamelessly plugging this (as I did to Mar-Holz) so that my brilliant words begin to gain a cult following. It will happen. Just you watch, cynics.
So this has quite possibly been the laziest week of my life. I haven't worked since Sunday, which means four entire days off in a row. I have slept until at least noon each day, eaten a few frozen pizzas, and watched some fine cinema, including Dreamgirls (which for some reason seams to ALWAYS be on the HBO Black channel.... apparently there really aren't that many black-themed movies. It probably always switches between Dreamgirls and The Color Purple). Anyway, each day my mom leaves me a note of chores to do around the house, and you best BELIEVE that I had Effie White blasting while I was vaccuming, and I have a kickass rendition of "And I'm telling you..." to add to my repertoire.
Let's all take a moment of silence for the recent deaths of Sydney Pollack and Harvey Korman....
Okay, we can be loud again.
Anyway, on to more important things, let's talk about my teeth. I think I may or may not have no less than 20 cavities, because my teeth hurt like a MOTHER.
Next on the agenda......
I have to take a drug test on Monday for my summer job. Which makes no sense to me at all..... because I found out I had to take this drug test like maybe 3 months ago so i purposely abstained from any substance abuse. Once Monday is over, I could easily get hooked on the Mary-J just to spite the City of Cottage Grove. I just don't see what a drug test prevents, really.
Also, as of Tuesday night, I will be CPR certified, so if any of you chokes at dinner or anything, I will TOTES be there for you suckin' on your face, like a true friend would. I've always wanted to be certified, I plan on showing my card to everyone I see. I might even just give it to people who need to see my driver's license and be like "oops, that's not my license..... but I AM CPR certified, you know...."
Best two things about being home: Free food, and Free beer. Free is always capitalized, by the way.
This is long enough for my tired eyes. Good night.
Love you all unless your name is Jessica Alba,
Matty B.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Never Gonna Dance
I am such a movie-watching fiend. I am currently observing the brilliance of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in Swing Time. It is pretty wonderful. I wish I could dance like him.... or her. I have almost perfected the "soulja boy" dance though, so it's only uphill from here.
Last night I attended the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with my lover and ex-facebook-fiancee, Erin McDonough. I love her, even though she broke off our Facebook relationship with one of my coworkers at Hollywood Video. Rude.
Anyway, the movie was a good time. It was ridiculously over the top and had 8 too many "yeah right" moments, but it was still wonderful Indy fun. Definitely the weakest entry in the series, but in such a kickass series, that doesn't really mean much discredit.
The demographic at the midnight showing of this film was pretty narrow. There were mainly two groups. Young skinny male nerds, and older skinny male nerds. An occasional plumpy here and there, but mostly just skinny nerds. .... and me and Erin. I suppose I could fit into the young skinny nerd category, but since I had a date, I will exclude myself (thanks very much).
Anyway, today was another great evening of work at good ol' H-vid. I try my best to sway people from renting terrible movies, but they just never listen.
One thing I don't understand: Why do people get so riled up over The Golden Compass just because it has atheistic undertones? Are your children really going to go on a quest to kill God if they view it? If so, then maybe you need to be a better parent. There is a hardcore Christian girl in Stevens Point who told me that I would go to Hell if I watched that movie (obviously she has no idea some of the OTHER stuff I had been watching in my alone time). I told her "okay, I better not rent it..... I'll rent Saw IV instead."
If I was Jesus (which really, I'm not so far from...), I would MUCH rather be in a movie with Nicole Kidman and Polar Bears than a movie like Passion of the Christ where they show me beaten up and bloody for 3 hours. I'd want some big-budget shit, some REAL action.
Funny thing is, the girl who told me this smokes weed several times a week, and is quite the binge-drinker. "It's not a religion, it's a relationship," she tells me. Really? A relationship? Is it on Facebook? If not, it is unofficial..... and by the way I think he's cheating on you.
Okay, this seems really anti-religious. In fact, I am pro-religion. I know many a human whose lives are greatly enhanced by religion. I just think some people need to shut the fuck up before they waste their time bitching about a stupid kids movie.
Bedtime,
Matty
Last night I attended the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with my lover and ex-facebook-fiancee, Erin McDonough. I love her, even though she broke off our Facebook relationship with one of my coworkers at Hollywood Video. Rude.
Anyway, the movie was a good time. It was ridiculously over the top and had 8 too many "yeah right" moments, but it was still wonderful Indy fun. Definitely the weakest entry in the series, but in such a kickass series, that doesn't really mean much discredit.
The demographic at the midnight showing of this film was pretty narrow. There were mainly two groups. Young skinny male nerds, and older skinny male nerds. An occasional plumpy here and there, but mostly just skinny nerds. .... and me and Erin. I suppose I could fit into the young skinny nerd category, but since I had a date, I will exclude myself (thanks very much).
Anyway, today was another great evening of work at good ol' H-vid. I try my best to sway people from renting terrible movies, but they just never listen.
One thing I don't understand: Why do people get so riled up over The Golden Compass just because it has atheistic undertones? Are your children really going to go on a quest to kill God if they view it? If so, then maybe you need to be a better parent. There is a hardcore Christian girl in Stevens Point who told me that I would go to Hell if I watched that movie (obviously she has no idea some of the OTHER stuff I had been watching in my alone time). I told her "okay, I better not rent it..... I'll rent Saw IV instead."
If I was Jesus (which really, I'm not so far from...), I would MUCH rather be in a movie with Nicole Kidman and Polar Bears than a movie like Passion of the Christ where they show me beaten up and bloody for 3 hours. I'd want some big-budget shit, some REAL action.
Funny thing is, the girl who told me this smokes weed several times a week, and is quite the binge-drinker. "It's not a religion, it's a relationship," she tells me. Really? A relationship? Is it on Facebook? If not, it is unofficial..... and by the way I think he's cheating on you.
Okay, this seems really anti-religious. In fact, I am pro-religion. I know many a human whose lives are greatly enhanced by religion. I just think some people need to shut the fuck up before they waste their time bitching about a stupid kids movie.
Bedtime,
Matty
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