Proud as a tiger. A gay tiger.

I was about to let another lazy night go by where I just fell asleep to a movie without blogging, but it's been a week and I think June 2008 has been a month worthy enough to squeeze another post out of me as its final hours dwindle away.

I have successfully convinced (I think) most of the children at my park of two absurdities. One is that my mother is a gorilla (yes, an actual gorilla), and the other is that I own 89 pet chickens (one of which is named Chelsea). They honestly and truly believe this, unless they are really good pretenders. They keep asking me detailed questions about Chelsea and often have me translate English phrases into Gorilla for them.

After reading the above paragraph to myself, and realizing how proud I am to have tricked small children into believing such stupid things, I think it is official. I am a loser.

Anyway, this weekend was an adventure. First I saw Wall-E with my sibs (amazing). Then on Sunday I went with my sis Steph and my beloved Vogutta to the Twin Cities Pride parade and festival. Now, you must know that I am the biggest cynic of such parades and festivals. I believed I belong at a gay pride festival as much as I belong at a Juggling Skills Pride Festival, which is NOT AT ALL a place I would ever be invited to. My theory is that they should have a "College GPA" pride, because I would be ALL over that bitch! At least I had to study and work for that..... there was no "gay audition," although sometimes I fear if I don't pop in my showtunes or gel my hair at least once a week that my license will be revoked.

Anyway, regardless of my pre-pride skepticism, I had a rather enjoyable time. It was nice to be in a place where my scathing remarks and bitchiness were not only unwanted, they were completely unnecessary. Of course, this made me a little uncomfortable at first because everyone was so genuinely comfortable and happy that I had no targets, but after I got used to it and joined all the gayness, it was a really really great day. Things like that kind of change my perspective on life..... suddenly I realize this world isn't just about me and my selfish insecurities.... it's nice to have a bitch-slap to the face of reality sometimes.

I love Christie Vogt. We were scoping out our future top-floor condos as we roamed the city. We found a few very nice-looking terraces, and I for one cannot wait for a few years to pass so we can be committed to each other and fill our fancy apartment with asian babies (which we will return to their owners at the end of the day because everyone knows babies are too much responsibility).

If you ever want to be really uncomfortable, call in your local radio and tell them to play "I Kissed a Girl" while you are in the car with your dad.

I bought a bus ticket to Chicago last week. I am going July 18th with Kelsey Jor-Jor and I am ridiculously excited to get a way, even if it's just for a few days. Time is flying by until this stupid summer job thing is over, I turn 21 and school begins again!!!!!!! Cannot wait!!!

P.S. E-Harp, I got August Osage County in the mail today and am already hooked. Thanks for the rec.

I wrote the P.S. before the signature even happened,

Matty B.